Because I am just Not This Clever

[etakyma]

I am stealing this from something someone emailed me. But I thought it was funny - so here you go:


At this special time of year, and in the spirit of universal tolerance,
understanding, equality, balance, freedom, global connectedness and
non-discrimination, it is my long-standing tradition to send an email
out to everyone with universal greetings and positive karmic wishes for
you all. I wish you and all those within your sphere of influence/
circle of concern/ general vicinity/ group of friends and
broadly-defined family units a very merry/ happy/ peaceful/ joyous/
relaxed/ pleasant/ quiet/ calming/ blessed/ spiritual/ fulfilling/
renewing and/or other-emotional-state-as-desired Christmas/ Hanukkah/
Kwanzaa/ BodhiDay/ Santa Lucia Day/ Las Posadas/ Eid-al-Adha/ Boxing
Day/ Feast of Saturnalia/ Ceremony of the Goddess/ Emancipation Day/
Epiphany/ Moonlight Festival/ Midnight or three-day mediatation and/or
other-secular-or-religious-holiday/feast/celebration as appropriate, and
hope that the holidays bring you closer to your husband/ wife/ domestic
partner(s)/ significant other(s)/ children/ parents/ aunts/ uncles/
nieces/ nephews/ nuclear family/ extended family/ favorite TV show/
favorite toy/ favorite pastime/ fond memory/ friends/ the planet/ the
world/ transcendental understanding/ the path/ the Goddess/ the Well/
the Temple/ the council or Quorum of the Twelve/ the Sanctuary/ the Tao/
the prophet or Prophet/ the Saviour/ Samsara/ the Buddha/ the Ancient
One/ the Way/ a ribbon or wormhole in the space-time continuum leading
straight to the Nexus and/or the secular or religious diety/ object of
worship/ meditative focal point/ path of learning/ hobby/ pastime/
positive addiction or future goal of your choice in accordance with your
particular situations, persuasions, beliefs, goals, wishes and desires.

Or, as they say where I come from.... I wish you and your families a
Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!