WTF?

[etakyma]

It was over 70 degrees here today. In January. In New England. We had a bit of snow a week ago, that was gone the next day (enough for G and my mom to have a snowball fight (she's FIVE and takes direction very well) but it didn't amount to much of anything but looking pretty for a few hours.).

And today I was wandering around in short sleeves and no jacket, sweater, or sweat shirt. Yesterday set a record (63 degrees - which broke the last record (set thirteen years ago) by 1 degree) and today did too - but I missed by how much. Amazing.

I got a birth announcement a few weeks ago from an old ex-boyfriend. His wife just delivered their first child in November. It is odd to me that I get correspondance from them. Usually I'll get a christmas card (it used to come to my parent's house, but they must have done some research and updated to my address because it comes here now). But to be included in the birth announcement mailing? Weird. We broke up years before he married his wife, and they've now been married for five years. I got an invitation to that when it happened, too. Which came out of the blue, since at the time I hadn't spoken to him in a couple of years (since the night we broke up, actually - Long distance relationships are difficult at the best of times).

So the question is, should I send a gift? I sent a gift for their wedding (nice, impersonal, and silver) - should I feel obligated to gift their child? I don't know.

Other gift-related questions... I have been invited to a bridal shower for the daughter of a friend. I don't know the daughter - I mean I've met her, but we've perhaps exchanged a handful of words. But I do know the mother of the bride, as well as all her social circle. Do I go? It is a "time of day" shower, and I got "dinnertime." If I go, anyone have any gift ideas for someone who is on a budget? I don't know if they are registered anywhere, and that sort of thing always makes me itch. It seems so... greedy. Like "I am passing a huge milestoine in my life, and here is the stuff I want, so gimme." Usually I make something up - and I do have an idea... I just don't know how viable an idea it is.

I don't know. In other news, I think I am caught up with Top Chef - and I am liking Cliff to be in the final few... Even colorblind he pulled off "purple" food that was presented well (looked yummy) and the judges said it was tasty. I think he is a strong contender. I also hope Sam is in the final group. Only a few episodes to go!

Note to self... Copious amounts of laundry to do tomorrow... Maybe a good cleaning out of the dresser drawers would be a good idea...

Comments

[debrac.livejournal.com]

I always figure you should send a gift when you're so excited about the event, you can't wait to go shopping for it. When you have to ask yourself if you should, you shouldn't! That kinda defeats the spirit of 'gift giving.' :-)

My personal rule of thumb, anyway.

An easier rule of thumb is that you don't have to send gifts/go to events for friends/relatives of your own friends, or to people you once knew well but are no longer good friends with. Can you imagine the expense if people were expected to gift everyone your friends and family know as well as your own friends and family and all the people you were once acquainted with??! Yikes!

And personally, I think both the announcement and invitation are in poor taste. However, it doesn't cost much to acknowledge both with a congratulatory phone call (or card, if you're feeling really generous)...then you've acknowledge their events with what you can afford and no more than what you should have to spend under the circumstances. Plus, if you call (or send a card) they know right away what your intentions are, you don't have to think about them wondering if you're coming through with the loot and you can put it behind you, knowing you took the nice road.

And I heard about your weather! That's amazing.

debraC

[etakyma.livejournal.com]

I like your rule of thumb! I semi-agree with you on the birth announcement being in poor taste, but not so much the invitation. It's an odd situation. I know not only the family, but the bride's best friend growing up. It could be they just don't realize how tenuous the connection from me to the bride *is.*

Sending a card is a good idea. Maybe I'll do that in lieu of giving a gift/attending the shower.

And the weather - OMG! So nice. I just want to go out and bask for a little while. It is colder today, but still way warm for the time of year. I haven't used the snow shovel yet this season! It is supposed to rain this week - but still be in the forties.

[kitipurr.livejournal.com]

re: the baby - you totally don't need to feel like you have to send a gift. I agree it's really odd that you would receive an announcement if you're not regular every-day friends. honestly, it smells to me like gift-fishing. same reason people invite relatives they don't see and don't even like to their wedding - just a way to rake in more presents and money.

re: the shower of your friend's daughter, I've always thought it a weird custom to invite the friends of the parents when they don't know the child well, but it does appear to be commonplace these days. I don't think you need to feel obligated to go - you could just not be available that day or something - but if you choose to, 'dinnertime' could be a set of cloth napkins, or napkin rings, or even something like a good cookbook on simple, fast dinners.

If it's 'antique' it could look like you spent more - what I mean is, I have a very old book called 'To the Bride' which my grandmother gave my mother, and it's got all sorts of interesting thoughts on housemaking as well as tons of recipes for just about everything. If you could find something like that in a used book store, and maybe give it with a 'new' book that you could get inexpensively, it would make a nice gift that could actually be useful, or at least entertaining (I get a lot of laughs out of the 'To the Bride' book due to how completely out of date some of the advise is).

anyway, those are my thoughts, hope they help!

[etakyma.livejournal.com]

What great gift ideas! Thank you. I may go to the bridal shower because I will know a lot of the people there, just not so much the bride. But then, I remember my sister-in-law's bridal shower and her first baby shower and I knew my mother, my SIL and her mother, and absolutely no one else.

But I won't ink it into my schedule, because if something comes up I won't feel bad about missing it!

Re: the baby announcement for my ex - I know! It is totally weird since I haven't talked to him in over a decade. Maybe I'll just ignore it - Imean, our breakup wasn't contentious - I don't hate him, he didn't "do me wrong," we just kinda drifted apart and I finally had to say "this isn't working for us anymore, have a nice life." The relationship got to be a habit, so we lingered as attached long past time we should have let go. I mean we were a thousand miles apart for the last year of the relationship - and saw each other about three times. For people just out of (me) and not out of (him) college yet, we didn't have the resources to do much more than that. So yeah, while I am vaguely happy he's happy, not much more than a "that's nice."