My Date To My Junior Prom Was A Girl.

[etakyma]

So the flap about the girl who wanted to take her girlfriend to prom and was barred from doing so perplexes me.

I went to my junior prom with a girl. We were not romantically involved, but I don't remember it being a big deal - or even noticeable. Her boyfriend punked out on her, and I was dateless, so we went together. I got her a rose, she got me a corsage. We took pictures like any other couple at the prom, even though our pictures were not "couple-y" it still was included in the commemorative picture book.

One boy brought two girls, and that trio is also included in the booklet (I think he had asked one girl as a friend and then got a together with a different girl, and they decided to all go together). Nothing was ever said to any of us. If a girl wanted to wear a tux, well, fine. Can't imagine anything would have been said about that, either. I can't imagine if two boys wanted to go together as a date it would have been any different.

It was the nineteen-eighties. Surely we've advanced since then? Perhaps it was just the difference between small town New England and small town The South, but I don't think so.

Maybe I am incredibly naive. But shouldn't we as a society be over making a flap about these kinds of differences? So she wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tux. Big fucking deal. So the fuck what? As long as they have a ticket to the dance they should be able to go.

I pity the kids who held the "stealth prom" because I am sure that in the future they will look back and be ashamed.

Comments

[eibbil-libbie.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm just always looking for the drama llama, but I wonder if any stink would have been raise if she just...showed up to the prom in a tux with her girlfriend, and didn't announce it months before to stir up press.

I'm guessing not.

[gwendolyngrace.livejournal.com]

Amanda said something similar in Peg's journal - but the thing is, for all we know, she was genuinely asking permission, because she's a teenager and sometimes teenagers really want to operate within set parameters. I mean, we train kids to be conscious of and try to follow "the rules", so to assume that she was looking for a fight is, in my mind, very cynical.

Think, for example, about how many conference attendees ask questions about loopholes that we would really rather not answer, because yes, it's a loophole and once they point it out, we have to say "No," but if they would just not point it out, we would be able to turn our heads aside and say, "Oh, really? Someone did that? Hm."

And beyond that, the point is: So what? Even if she was deliberately stirring up controversy, there would have been no controversy had the community not reacted as it did. No act of hers, whether it was provocative or not, merits the lengths to which the town went to shut her out.

[zortified.livejournal.com]

If everyone knows that two girls (or women) are *not* romantically together, they can do anything together without raising a flap. Dance, share a bed, anything. It's only once people start thinking they might (oh noes) want to touch girly bits that it becomes an issue.

Although I'm sure the region also had something to do with it.

[etakyma.livejournal.com]

You have a point.

But even if we did want to do the touching of girly bits, I still don't think it would have been a big deal. But maybe because it was platonic (and was likely obviously platonic - I don't know - I didn't really feel old enough at the time to know what I wanted, and face it, what sixteen year old really knows themselves well enough to have themselves all figured out? Certainly not me - but I was a late bloomer).

I would love to ask some of the (now out and proud, but at the time we all knew without "knowing" if you get my meaning) boys what they thought at the time. Did they feel like they had to bring a girl to prom? Would they have preferred to bring a real date?

My HS was so small it was fairly incestuous. My class was 147 - and that was a large class! We'd all been through 13 years of school together. Some 14 - because they went to the same nursery school. I can't imagine dating or marrying any of them. Too close. So most prom "dates" were friends. Only a few were real relationships - and most of those were out-of-town relationships. The girl I went with, her boyfriend was from a neighboring town. One of my other good friends went with the young man who was leading her astray (she went through high school thinking about becoming a nun, and then this boy caught her. The marriage lasted two years and two kids). So yeah. Most kids went as friends and in groups.

Yeah, region is a distinction here.

[ksl2025.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why they were all in a kerfuffle over that either.
People place too much emphasis on shit that doesn't matter. And I've never fully understood why.

[etakyma.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the more I read about the whole thing the more I get confused over *why* exactly what she did or what she wanted was a BigFuckingDeal.

Why the hell would or should anyone else care who anyone else dates? Or sleeps with? Or wants to take to prom?

Oy.

[conjured-1.livejournal.com]

Megan just went to the Winter Ball (it's the big dance here, like Jr. Prom) with her best friend Mai. They purchased the couple tickets because it was cheaper and nothing was said. Quite a few of the girls, and a few guys did that. I have wondered if maybe this particular event was pushed into the news on purpose, because I can't help thinking that of the girls just did it with no extra wordage, all would have been okay. I know at my HS dances and proms some of the girls wore tuxes and it wasn't a problem.

[bjjones.livejournal.com]

I so didn't get it either and thing was - she asked permission to do it (like the rules of the school wanted) she actually followed their rules and they got into a stink about it. If she had just showed up I seriously doubt anyone would have cared or noticed especially since she was out and proud her whole HS career.

What gets me is - if the board just said yeah who cares bring her... they wouldn't be dealing with now lawsuits and press scrutiny. So my question is someones 'moral' issue worth all this negative press.

It's like the private school that refused to let the guy bring his girlfriend because she was in public school. He did the same thing seeked permission and they said no - even though she went to the same church and youth group and new the rules to follow for this particular private school. And it did a huge media frenzy and the school looked like bigoted twits... if they had just got off their high horse allowed him to bring her... they wouldn't have lost money or deal with a lawsuit.

It boggles the mind that these 'conservatives' rather deal with negative publicity and future hassles to the point of lawsuits then let two girls go to the prom.