etakyma: (Technobabble SG1)
( Dec. 2nd, 2013 07:47 pm)
So I know the vast majority of you through fandom of one flavor or another so I feel okay with sharing this... I've very slowly come to realize something interesting.

Men write fanfic somewhat (and obviously) differently than women.  I know the majority of fanfic is written by women, but there are men who do it, too (and are fine writers of it).

I've recently found several authors who self identify as men (whether they are or not, well, who really knows on the Internet, right?).

And every single one of them have had their female characters want to be gently touched in the breast region.  And felt up, or ogled, or played with or whatever - perhaps sooner in the relationship any girl I knew would be comfortable with (and at younger ages, too).  I don't know (and didn't know) any girl at fifteen who absolutely knew how they wanted to be touched and had the confidence to flat out tell - no *instruct* a boy exactly how, where, and how much.  That is a very male fantasy, and something most girls need time and maturity to grow the confidence for (and experience of doing).

I don't mind the focus on the boobies - really - and some of the authors are very "fade to black" when it comes time to actually describe the boobies (I swear most women slash writers are more comfortable describing men's junk than these menfolk are describing the bit (or lot) of skin between a girl's chin and her belly button.  So far most of what I have gotten is "warm").  And most of the female sexual releases are described by how she sounds rather than what she looks like or feels like or anything else.

Most of the boys in these stories are grateful for the instruction, and willing to be led sexually, but perfectly able to also be "gentlemanly" about it.

I haven't found the men writers to be too much into writing the femslash - they're all about the het so far (never mind the slash of the menfolk variety - I am sure it exists but I haven't found much).

Anyone else have other observances between men fanfic writers and women fanfic writers (or people who put themselves out on the interwebz as male as opposed to people who put themselves out as female - or even those who never self identify as any gender)?
etakyma: (Technobabble SG1)
( Jul. 21st, 2013 10:35 pm)
Is all over my town.

There are two ways to exit my neighborhood to the south, and two ways to the north.  In both cases you have to get to the main road and head east or west on it before you can actually go north or south.  About six weeks ago, one of the routes to the south (westerly) was closed for bridge repair - the most convenient one to my bank, to the closest Stop and Shop, to the closest Whole Foods, to the main Post Office.  Its just a CONVENIENT way to leave my neighborhood.  Closed until (at the very least) Fall.

Okay, I can still go west to go south - I just have to go alllll the way around.  About ten to fifteen minutes out of my way depending on traffic (tertiary roads, highly traveled, and looping back to where you were, just on the other side of the closed bridge). Annoying but do-able.

Leaving my neighborhood the up and around way to the west, there are traffic signs indicating a traffic pattern shift starting tomorrow.  Road crews are going to be doing a widening project, so traffic in that direction is going to be even worse - they expect heavy usage and major delays.  I go that way ALL THE TIME.  I don't want more construction happening there!

Getting out south and east is the same traffic pattern as usual, but getting IN south to the easterly direction they've put in another detour to do some sewer repair - also going to take a couple of months to complete, but totally messes with the traffic pattern in the other spot.

Going to the north east or west is still clear of construction, but getting out of the neighborhood to head towards civilization (Mass Pike and Route 9 are both *just* south of my neighborhood) is getting annoying and time consuming.

I am super happy my town is doing much-needed repairs to its roads and infrastructure (water mains, sewers, etc.) but having it all happen at the same time is a little... weird!  There are like four bridges closed in my town for repair.  Orange DETOUR signs are up everywhere.

On the plus side, a bunch of pot-holey roads have been repaved lately, so there is that.

On the minus side we've had two weeks of plus90 degree weather, I do not envy the construction crews working outside in this weather.  This week should be marginally cooler (mid eighties instead of mid-to-high nineties).  But I'm off ADVENTURING to Europe mid-week anyway.
etakyma: (Technobabble SG1)
( Jul. 17th, 2013 11:08 pm)
Whether it is a wake or sitting shiva or something else where family and friends gather to mourn the beloved dead, before or after the formal funeral or memorial services, they all have things in common.  People gather to talk and grieve and laugh and love.  To eat and drink and support each other.

I've been to many, and I am certain sure going to be going to many more.  As family, as friend, as supporter, as mourner, to pay my respects and laugh and cry.

I've buried all my grandparents, and most of my great uncles and aunts.  I've buried cousins and friends and neighbors.  This is not surprising.  Everyone is always moving forward toward a certain end point - the only surprise is if it comes sooner rather than later.  My first memory of death is from when I was a junior in high school.  One of the young men in my brother's class died the weekend before he was to graduate from high school.  It was a heck of a beginning to the summer.  I had a graduating class of 147 - three of which I know for certain have passed away - two from cancer, one unclear.

Tonight's grieving ritual was not unexpected - he'd been battling cancer for three and half years, and had been declining slowly but steadily. His daughters and their families were here for at least his last week, and they are there to support their mother now as she tries to navigate life after.  After she lost her partner and lover and husband for the last forty years.

Of the two of them, I knew her first.  But he was always her biggest supporter and fan, and he was always there in the background, a quiet man with a wonderful sense of humor and they turned to each other as if in the other they found their sun.

I will miss him.

RIP JLG 1945-2013
When I was a small child, my maternal grandparents (both now gone - each lived into their nineties, but they are at rest) lived in a charming little house on Cape Cod.  The "Orleans" house.  The one on Harbor Hill.  It was a charming little Cape - I remember they had red walls in the living room.

This past weekend my mom and I were going through family letters and photos (her cousin is looking for photos and now I have a few to scan and send to her).  Mom made a comment about the space my grandmother made for me.  My brother got the bedroom, and I got the bed shoved in an upstairs alcove dormer area.  The hallway between the two bedrooms.

It has *never* occurred to me that that was a weird set up.  That me sleeping on a cot in what amounts to a hallway was in any way strange.  My mom's perspective was that I was (possibly purposefully) shafted because my grandmother did not want to put me in an actual room (and as I recall they did have another room - a little sewing room the cot could have just as easily been put in there).

At the time I thought it was kind of cool - my grandmother had set up a cozy little corner with a table and lamp and she always left a book for me to read.  Although looking back it was kind of odd that people were always traipsing through my "room" because it was in all actuality a hallway.

Then came the two years my grandparents refused to talk to my mother - or any of the rest of us (family Drama with a capital D) and after that time my brother and I never stayed overnight with them anymore.

Then my grandparents started to move around the cape - every couple of years they bought a new house.  Until my grandfather sold his last house to my dad. 
etakyma: (Technobabble SG1)
( Jul. 8th, 2013 12:31 pm)
I've avoided Domino's Pizza since I was in college due to their anti-women's choice/health stance and monetary support.

I've never eaten at a Chik-fil-A and won't ever now because of what has been publicized about their exclusionary politics.

I have never liked Ambercrombie and Fitch (however that is really spelled - I can't be bothered to look it up) even before their CEO was nasty to just about everybody in public.

And I have no trouble choosing to boycott Ender's Game no matter who is in it and ho matter how good a movie they make it.  When I was a teenager I loved OSC books.  I have a ton of them - and I read them all numerous times.  But the man's narrow view of "acceptable" cultural behavior has soured me on anything to do with his work. That he actively and publicly spews his hatred of huge segments of the people of the world is reprehensible and unconscionable. So no, I will not be going to see Ender's Game.  I will not buy any tie-ins.  I will actively avoid anything to do with the marketing of the movie or any other books he will ever write.

Ender's Game was a favorite book for YEARS - but I can't say I will ever read it again - and it leaves a bitter taste that I spent years when I was a bookstore manager suggesting it to HS students because it was on their summer reading list and I had loved it.

So there is a boycott movement out there to not see the movie when it opens (currently scheduled for November 1).  I think it should go a step farther - to actively go out to the movies that weekend and specifically choose any other movie to see but Ender's Game.

For more information on the boycott:

Also, I am kinda glad I stopped reading comic books in 2002 (I spent too much money on them and decided taking an actual vacation occasionally was a worthier cause than reading comic books) - because OSC is now writing for Superman.  I'd stop giving my money to DC for that as well.
etakyma: (Technobabble SG1)
( Jun. 10th, 2013 06:17 pm)
Ballet and sense or even plot do not go together.

I run the light board for a performing arts studio's shows three times a year.  Their Nutcracker, the Spring recital, and their Spring Ballet.

This year the ballet was "Don Quixote" which bears very little relation to the story of Don Quixote.  No.  I challenge you to find the plot.

All I got was there is this guy who occasionally has fits and visions and the young lovers (who have no much to do with out title character) are continually running away from her father who sold the girl off to a rich man.

I don't know where the gypsies come into it, or why Don Quixote and his sidekick are running around threatening things and people with a sword and a spoon.

Our sound guy and I kept looking at each other and asking "huh?" and our answer was inevitable "Because Ballet!"

Anyway.  It did mean I got home late enough to have missed the Tony awards, but I did catch the opening number online today.  Gotta say this is EXACTLY why I love the Tonys and am all "meh" about the Oscars.  And since NPR's Linda Holmes put it SO MUCH BETTER than I ever could, I urge you to read the whole thing:

but I quote part of it here because I want to say, yes, THIS! RIGHT HERE:
"The next time you're tempted to give an Oscar host a pass on the basis that it's an impossible, can't-win job, and that the lazy, easy, corny, toothless humor that passes for patter is a fundamental of the awards format, and that the jokes can't be better and the numbers can't be better and the hosting can't be better and the crowd can't get excited, keep in mind that that's exactly what people who want to keep making lazy awards shows want you to think.

Sure, theater people have an advantage with musical numbers, but if you run the Oscars and can't figure out how to do for and with love of film what the Tonys are doing for and with love of theater, you are terrible at your job and should hand it off to someone else."

So if only heterosexual couples are allowed to marry because only heterosexual couples can become unintentionally pregnant it follows that argument that marriage licenses should only be issued to those that ARE "unintentionally" pregnant.  No one else can marry, ever!  Only if you are pregnant unintentionally!

Because some asshat (and yes, on behalf of my ONE loopy State Supreme Court Justice, I offer my condolences) used the argument a decade ago to vote against same sex marriage here (he was soundly defeated, because the other state supreme court justices are more rational and not asshats).

A decade.  The actual laws change took a bit longer - it was 2004 when the first gay marriages were able to take place. But it has been a decade since the ruling.

I do not envy the Supreme Court.  But have my fingers crossed that the asshats using that ridiculous premise are defeated and the DOMA is overturned.  Because it is a stupid law and a hundred years from now people will wonder at the quaint customs we held as "modern" culture.
I usually leave awards shows on "in the background" while I do other things.  I couldn't do that with this years Oscar show.  I lasted a grand total of sixteen minutes.  Between the lame Captain Kirk segment and the "boob song" there was NO WAY I was subjecting myself to that drivel for three plus more hours.

I thought the host was bad, tasteless, and irritating.  So I didn't actually see any of the awards presented.  Which is fine - I am not all that invested in actually watching people thank Mom and God and everyone else.

I'm glad Brave got the Oscar for animated feature - I loved it (I also loved ParaNorman and was glad to see it nominated).  And Paperman (for animated short) is completely adorable.

For awards shows, I am far more interested in the Tonys than the Oscars - mostly because of the actual numbers from shows running on Broadway (makes me think - hey I like that - and make a note to get the album) and theatre actors are so much BETTER at putting together an actual show that is a good balance of THEATRE and awards.  Plus people who work day-in day-out in live theatre just do it better, imo.

Yes, there are in jokes and navel gazing and a bit of onanism - but the self-gratification is less and we feel part of the process more because it isn't the film-company that depends on us seeing the movie it is the entire theatre-company that depend on us coming to see them live night after night.  There is an immediacy to the thankfulness for theatre actors that there isn't for film-actors.  Film-actors went and did their job and it was over, and they went on to other projects, and then weeks and months later they are suddenly in the spotlight for something that for them was finished a long time ago.  Theatre-actors are (a lot of the time) still doing the job they are being honored for.

I find it means more.
etakyma: (Technobabble SG1)
( Feb. 11th, 2013 08:49 pm)
So I have both radical liberals and militant conservatives (or radical conservatives and militant liberals) on my facebook feed.  Most of both are family, so I can't exactly excise them from my life - nor would I want to.  Regardless of what they believe - how different it is from what I believe, I love them, they're family.  Sometimes I can't believe such sane seeming folks are so NARROW in their thinking.  I expect that they think the same of me - that I am a bleeding heart and slightly crazy.  Its fine, but I try to keep that off my facebook because I have professional contacts on my facebook, and I am very cognizant of who has access.

Some of the more strict conservatives shared this today:

And I've been trying ALL DAY to figure out why I am so disturbed by this story.

It comes down to, if the interviewer was a man would the General have responded the way he did (and why not - why, because she is a woman did he immediately make the leap to prostitution)?  How much did she threaten his masculinity for him to have said what he did?

And why would ANYONE think his response was okay - or even a "win" for him?

I believe in gun control - I think it should be way harder than it is for people to buy a gun.  But I do NOT want to curb someone's right to go hunting with an appropriate hunting rifle or bow (I say "appropriate" because I do not think an assault rifle is an appropriate weapon to turn on deer) if that is their thing.  Or even keep a revolver or handgun in their own home if they want to.  I even think teaching people the safe way to handle a gun is a GOOD thing.  My brother took a rifle-shooting class at summer camp one year - he was maybe twelve/thirteen - and he was pretty good at it. 

I have no issue with a boy scout troop learning safe rifle procedures and discipline. I also think up until the comment he made that the General was doing pretty well.  I find it interesting the General responded to a comment, not a question.  It would have been far better for him to respond to the comment by saying that they were not planning to give the boys guns, but to teach them respect and safety for weapons.  Not as polarizing a comment, but also not one that demeans more than half you population, either.

ETA: Even if the story is not true, it still made me think... so I'm going to leave this as is.
if you advertise something as "the best of" whatever, let me give you a hint. If whatever the thing is you are saying this one is "the best" of is pure shit... well, the best of shit is STILL shit.

So. Here endeth the lesson.
Seeing ads on tv makes you go huh? sometimes.

I would have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall of the pitch session where someone thought the movie "Battleship" was a good idea. That it got all the way through production and is about to be released and all along the process no one questioned a movie based on a kids board game was possibly not a good idea.

I mean, how can this not be a massively bad movie?

I suppose there is president. After all they've made movies based on video games and amusement park rides. But "Battleship"? Couldn't they have picked something like "Risk" or "Stratego" or even "Monopoly"? It had to be "Battleship"? You know if nobody comes out and actually says "You sunk my Battleship!" the entire movie will not be worth the cost of admission, right? That would be like telling the joke but not the punchline.
Things I learned today:

* Mr Snuffleupagus has a first name - Aloysius.
* Holding four different conversations simultaneously via IM is difficult and crazy-making.
* That those four conversations were about the same work "bug" just coming at it from four different directions did not help.
* [ profile] gwendolyngrace was a precocious child. Even stranger and more precocious than I realized (♥)
* My client announced four new leadership people that I will be working with closely for the next two years... Three of the four have no clue what they just let themselves in for.
* My aunt is on Facebook. This is my mother's sister. My mother doesn't do anything with a computer. At all. Ever. Apparently Aunt Kelly has no such issues. Mom has an iPhone which she makes and receives calls on, and is able to check the weather app, as well as snap a photograph. Other things are a bit beyond her (and she has no email anyway). It is the very first generation iPhone and is pretty creaky and slow.
* Martin Freeman is adorable and has no idea how wacktastic his fans are. Although in the next few days he is likely to get that point hammered home.
I was at the grocery store the other day and the clerk automatically asked me "credit or debit?" And it stopped me because it just didn't compute in that moment I was pulling out my wallet.

"Neither," I had to admit. "Coin of the realm." I kind of felt bad for throwing her off. But not bad enough to use a credit card (I don't actually HAVE a debit card - I could have gotten one when I set up my checking and savings accounts, but specifically did not. I think on the whole debit cards are a Bad Idea).

Is it really so surprising when someone wants to pay with cash? Seventy-five percent of the time, no matter what I am buying (in a brick-and-mortar store) I pay with cash. I prefer it. And even when I pay with a credit card I pay the balance off each month.

Anyway - it is supposed to be 92 degrees tomorrow and looks like Tuesday it will get up to 96. Then the weather will break a little and it will be down around 82 for the rest of the week. Ah, midsummer.
And I get to go all over the world.

USAmericans also "sprung forward" on Sunday to enter Daylight Savings Time, which means we lost an hour of sleep (because in their infinite wisdom they *thought* mucking with clock settings in the middle of the night would not "inconvenience" the largest population of people (making us all sleep deprived and confused doesn't count)).

Well, the American Government decided a few years ago to EXTEND Daylight Savings Time when the rest of the world did not.

So I go to the Czech Republic on March 22. And SPRING FORWARD AGAIN with the European Union on March 27. I am just going to have a massively messed up body clock by the time I get home on April 2.

So not fair.
etakyma: (Default)
( Oct. 13th, 2008 01:00 pm)
So I've got this friend who is in the Comparative Media Studies graduate program at MIT with Dr. Henry Jenkins. And she is looking for perspectives *from* *fans.* Now I've known [ profile] flourish for years (not well, but I can pick her out of a crowded room and carry on a rational conversation with her), and she is a thoughtful, intelligent person. And a fan. I know some folks on my flist are in a lot of different fandoms than her, and thought you all would have some good perspectives!

This is what she writes in her LJ (post can be found here:

What would you say to the people who own the stories you write fanfic for?

Since I came to CMS@MIT, I’ve apparently gotten pretty legit, at least in the eyes of the business community. So, I’m going to have a number of opportunities in the future (some of them in the immediate future) to talk to people who set policies about fanfiction - I have at least one speaking engagement already set. To them, I’m a window into the fan community. I’m an expert. I’m a chance for them to learn more about what we all do. But I don’t want this to just be about what I think. I might forget something that’s important.

So what would you like to say to the corporations? What would you tell them about how they can work with fans? What would you explain to them that they don’t understand? How would you suggest that they balance their interests and yours? I want to know. And if you tell me, I might be able to pass them on.

Please, guys, pass this on to everyone you know in the fan community. I really want to get as many responses to this as I can. I will collate the responses I get and circulate them to people in the corporate world - so your response here might actually get read by the people who control the properties that you're writing fanfic about. I want everyone's perspective.

So go forth and comment on her post! Give her some of your thoughts on fandom, on being a fan, on fanfic, on anything related.
etakyma: (Default)
( Aug. 7th, 2008 05:36 pm)
I was asked if I brought anything home from Ireland.

Um, no. Way expensive, anyone? Also far from shops, and well, I didn't really need anything kitschy or touristy or anything like that.

I *was* however, tempted to buy a doormat I saw at a street vendors.

It said "FECK OFF" and I lurved it.

Hmmm... I wonder what that says about me that of all the stuff I saw that I could have thought to buy, it was a rude doormat that tempted me the most?
etakyma: (Default)
( May. 13th, 2008 11:44 am)
Something odd I've noticed...

...due to the construction happening in and around my house for the last two months (and gonna be going on for the next several) all the neighborhood squirrels have disappeared.

It only struck me when my Magnolia tree kept its flowers for more than a day. Usually, there are buds, the buds bloom, and the tree is denuded of blossoms in about a day. The squirrels pick off the flowers one by one and eat the inside part, dropping the petals to the ground. Must be quite the feast, because I've watched them do it fast in other years.

This year? The magnolia burst into flower and stayed that way for a long time (nearly a month!) before the wind naturally took the petals off the tree. So I guess the constant low vibration of the ground for *hours* every day has had an interesting side effect.

I wonder if the groundhog and all the rabbits found new digs, too?

etakyma: (Default)
( Feb. 28th, 2008 11:41 pm)
Okay, I'm gonna say some things that are not going to be a surprise to most of you. Confession time. Ready?

I am a complete musical theatre dork. I have no idea what happened at the Oscars, but am a HUGE fan of the Tony awards. Seeing all the actors of Broadway together is exciting. It is exciting because you *know* these folks work their asses off night after night.

I love the form. I love the storytelling. I love the music. I love the creativity. I love that the songs usually have something to say (even if it is silly and/or crazy). It takes a whole hell of a lot for me to *hate* a musical.

I can be indifferent (Jersey Boys? really? Okay fun music, but it is not *new.* Contact - the first and ultimate juke box musical - I still enjoyed it as an experiment). But outright hate? Hmmmm....

Even the borderline-bad concepts have something to recommend them (whoever thought Les Miserables would make a hit musical? Big-ass depressing French novel - or Oliver - a big-ass depressing English novel). Then we have the socially conscious. Carousel took on domestic violence, and South Pacific took on prejudice. Rent became the battle cry of youth in the nineties. Now we have Spring Awakening dealing with ignorance, confusion, sexuality, and puberty - which I also have no desire to see (can you say depressing?).

So while the concept of "Lord of the Rings: The Musical" makes me think "That right there? Likely nothing but a hot mess." However, having heard some of the music, it is lovely. I can't imagine how they could tell the story of the LotR journey in any kind of meaningful way in a stage production. But the ethereal style they made the elvin music contrasts and complements the folky drinking-song-style of the hobbits.

So while I have no real desire to *see* it staged, the music has intrigued me. I can see the writers of the music doing something really fine with a retelling of an Arthurian legend. Or Merlin. Or anything uniquely British and from a thousand or so years ago.

There. Done. Off my soapbox for the night. :D
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etakyma: (Default)
( Jan. 1st, 2008 11:58 am)
From snowy New England.

It never fails. Every frickin' time I get the driveway the least bit clear of snow and ice, it snows and/or ices up again.

I spent New Year's Eve quietly - I even missed the ball drop and the count down since I was involved in something else. My Sane Next Door Neighbor told me earlier in the day while I was... wait for it.. SHOVELING MY DRIVEWAY... That I needed to go out and do something crazy or as she put it "You're unattached - you should get attached!"

My InSane Next Door Neighbor (on other side) also wished me a happy new year while I was out with the shovel and the driveway - Her parting shot? "See you next year!" Which was funny when I was about twelve. She's in a manic phase - or was yesterday. But she's been on her meds, and I haven't seen the ambulances in the middle of the night for a while.

This year, I will be changing companies (not jobs - just companies). I will be costuming a show, decorating an event, and welcoming a new member of the family. I will be going to Dallas (twice), Maine, Philadelphia, possibly Dublin, and Minneapolis (again).

I am looking forward to looking forward, because the past year was difficult and I don't want to look back.

Happy 2008 Everyone!


etakyma: (Default)


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